Sunday, May 11, 2014

My Mother's Day Gift to My Children

My very first Mother's Day was March 1st 1995. Well, not actually Mother's Day, but that was the day that my firstborn was laid upon my chest to nuzzle into my heartbeat and become my external purpose for living. From the moment that I laid eyes on him, there was a shift in my world. Somehow, it was now up to me to create an environment that would give him the best opportunity to thrive. Through prayer, books, teaching, his well-being was the center of my focus. With the addition of my sweet girl and second son, it was a full time job to ensure their growth. I do not regret a single second that I have enjoyed watching them grow.

Just a month after my daughter was born (I was 21), I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my mother to lung cancer. In the whirlwind of a toddler and a newborn, it took a while for her death to sink in. When I finally came up for air, I realized that she would never meet my second son. Ever. The hole that left in my heart was wider than I could wrap my mind around. I turned to the Lord for comfort, to ease the sorrow. I was not angry over the loss, but it did feel like somehow I was going to have to do motherhood without the help of my very own mother. I felt cheated.

Fortunately, the Lord heard my heart and brought a swarm of wonderful examples into my life to love and direct my path. I do not know where I would be without these precious ladies.

I do have to say, the thought of my children feeling that same sorrow is even heavier than the loss of my own mother. If it is vaguely in my power to prevent them from experiencing loss that deep before they need to, it is my mission to accomplish. On Mother's Day 2011, I resolved to put my health in focus. Not to be selfish, but to be here. Here when they graduate. Here when they become engaged. Here when they say "I do." Here when they welcome their first child. And when my future grandchildren graduate, for as many good long years that the Lord allows for me to walk on this Earth.

So, contrary to tradition, on Mother's Day, I hope to give my children a gift. Hugs, pictures, meals. A bike ride, a stroll on the beach. The ability to call me on the phone, or tag me in a status. We are worth it.

To your health...and Happy Mother's Day!

No comments:

Post a Comment